Ships In The Night

If most of those that I am friends with, cant tell, I am in a flux with my life. I feel it sometimes resembles the ocean that I am surrounded by... Moments, I feel the ebb and flow of the tides... I feel the sunshine, warming me... I feel the cold rain, chilling me to the bone sometimes... I see passersby, some were ships lost at sea, crossing paths in the night. Some have stayed... Most have gone. Even those that became such a prominent part of my life. Important to me. Others, weren't so important, and it was just like brushing dust off my collar. Nothing.

I know that nothing lasts forever. Not relationships, not friendships, nothing is eternal. Not even knowledge. At least it isn't eternal unless both parties work on it. All I know is what I feel, what I think. Some of those ships in the night? Some of them actually meant something to me. Some of them still mean something to me, but those ships may never cross my ocean again. I might have liked how it felt then, as they drifted by, but time changes everything.

How would I feel now?

I more often than not lately have felt the sunshine upon my waters. Occasional dances in the rain are special to me now, because I can actually dance in the rain with a smile and know it means something... To me. I never danced before I moved to Hawaii, because of fear inside me, fear of what others thought of me. The most important ship in my life, I never danced with, and I wish I had. I never let that ship know how important it truly was to me. It is too late now, and although I am comfortable with my life, I don't feel the need to have other ships grace my waters, to laugh and dance with. I enjoy laughing and dancing alone, right now. No, I am not lonely at all. I am comfortable. And, most importantly, I am happy.

I miss that ship, and probably will for everyday the rest of my life, and everyday, I think of that ship, and hope it stays afloat, as it drifts onto other seas and oceans, I hope that ship enjoys the sunlight, and can dance in the rain as well.

Who knows? Maybe someday, I can dance with that lost ship again, with a smile upon both our faces, and for what it is worth... Peace be with you my old friend, until we can dance again.